As defined by Dictionary.com, "Selfless" is an
adjective used to describe someone who has, exhibits, or is
motivated by no concern for oneself; someone who is unselfish.
"No concern for oneself"... Now, that sounds pretty noble
at first thought but is it really realistic in today's
fast-paced, "survival of the fittest" type of society? We're
conditioned from birth that we, as individuals, must excel. We
must win the race, make straight A's in school, be the popular
kid, make the most money, advance to the greatest possible
level of career success... etc. It's a constant competition
for individual excellence. How can anyone really be "selfLESS"
when they are striving to rise above the crowd, to make
advances in their own lives? The fact is that we are all
SELFish to some degree. We have our own goals, our own dreams
and desires, and our own agendas we seek to fulfill. If
someone were truly "selfLESS" wouldn't that mean that they had
no ambition? No desires for self growth? Wouldn't a truly
selfLESS person be weak? Someone who gives in to the demands
of others, who's a push-over? Or maybe it would be someone who
tries to do so much for others that they inevitably forget to
do for themselves?
You might be thinking, "that's not me, I'm a team player."
You may be a part of a team at work but you're most likely
secretly seeking to be the one with the best ideas, the one
who contributes that one break-through that means being
recognized and appreciated by the "big bosses." Guess what...
that's SELFishness. While that small bit of SELFishness is
causing you to want to shine; it is also can be the gem that
creates the selfLESSness in you. The key here is whether you
let your need for approval and individual success; overpower
your motives for doing what you do. If winning at all cost or
gaining constant approval from those who you serve is all that
matters to you, then your scale may be tipped a little to far
in the SELFish category. Being selfLESS is not about
individual winning. It's not about individual approval. It's
not about letting go of what is important to you or walking
around all day conceding your dreams and goals to the goals
and dreams of others.
SelfLESSness, in my opinion, is actually a radical way of
thinking that we all possess but just need to unleash. It's an
understanding that by putting the needs of those around us,
above our own, we actually are advancing in a way we could
never imagine. We all have the desire for approval but a
selfLESS person seeks the approval of themselves and not
necessarily the constant approval of those around them. I'm
sure you've heard that old cliché, "you have to love yourself
before you can love anyone else." Well, that applies here as
well. Being confident enough in ourselves and our own actions
allows us to truly serve those in our paths without the need
for gratification, without the need for a certificate of merit
or a trophy. SelfLESSness is about serving your own SELFish
tendencies by serving the needs of others in a way that
genuinely promotes our mutual well-being. The simple act of
"doing" for someone or contributing your best to the effort
without the expectation of a gratifying response is the basis.
The only gratification you need is the one that comes to you
alone. The knowledge and the feeling to know that you did what
was right, you gave 100%, and that you took the time to lift
someone up by sharing your knowledge for the sole purpose of
their gain. You may find that the person whom you help today
can actually be your teacher tomorrow.
SelfLESS people are not weak, they are not suppressed but
rather they are truly secure and responsible enough in
themselves to choose a path in life that is not easy. A path
of letting go of individuality and the need to be seen as the
winner. When we humble ourselves to the benefit of others, we
become the servant who makes a true difference in the world.
It's not about me, it's not about you. It's about all of us,
coming together as one community to better our world through
the sharing and lifting up of each other.
SelfLESSness breeds kindness.
Which path will you choose?
